Commitment is key:When starting your surrogacy process, you and the surrogate must be involved in the same levels, giving the same amount of presence and commitment you expect. Make video calls and be kind from the beginning with the surrogate who’ll carry your baby. Ask about her once you can, attend the check-ups, connect with the pregnancy from the early stages, and make gestures or gifts so she feels valued, and both of you can build an authentic and safe connection from the beginning. This commitment is a testament to your dedication and responsibility as parents.

Find a way to connect with the process: In our era, there are many ways to communicate with your surrogate and experience pregnancy milestones in real-time; one of them, for example, is cycle/pregnancy following apps. Finding a trustworthy app and filling in data according to your surrogate cycle lets you know the information in detail. You could learn about the week of gestation your surrogate is into, the size of your baby, the milestones in their development, what your surrogate might feel, or even the food she can eat during the pregnancy. Even though virtual, this option is a very effective and close way to know everything related to your baby and the surrogate. It may make you feel connected to them and prepared for the baby’s arrival.

Begin building the nest: Nesting or providing your house with everything needed for your baby’s growth and development will make the experience feel more personal to you. Also, it’ll allow you to assume parental responsibilities from the beginning and measure the time remaining to meet your baby in terms of what you prepare. Start buying their clothes, baby grooming supplies, a crib, bottles, and baby safety supplies. You could even plan a baby shower with the closest members of your support network to feel closer to the dream of building your family.

Embrace the joy of pregnancy milestones: Organize your time and agenda so that you can attend to the significant milestones of the pregnancy: the control ultrasounds, the embryo transfer ultrasound, the pregnancy confirmation, the check-up ultrasounds, and, of course, your baby’s birthday. These are moments of pure joy and anticipation. Don’t forget that during the process, you must demonstrate your appreciation and commitment to your surrogate’s well-being by making unique gestures, talking, or making gifts to her. Hence, both of you feel safe during the process.

Use your voice: Your baby's experiences with the in-uterus may not stay in their minds forever, but how they felt during this time will impact their emotional development. Believe it or not, your baby might be conscious of specific sound frequencies like the heartbeat, peristaltic movements, and voices from the outside over time. Take advantage of your baby's extraordinary ability and talk to them using a voice note that the surrogate can play them, or else, do it live by imagining that they’re inside you or that you’re holding it in your arms; this may help a lot when expressing yourself. Modulate your voice tone, find tranquility, and show your baby how much you love them; reaffirm your presence from moment one and tell them everything you’re feeling; your baby will be aware of your voice and may get used to it faster than you think.

Communication is key: Just as you can introduce yourself and show your voice to your baby, you can also show them your favorite music, tell the stories you like the most, and even call them by name. Tell them your preferences and what you hope for their arrival; you can even show them your favorite colors with the help of a flashlight and a piece of cellophane paper put on your surrogate's belly; you can do it yourself or ask the surrogate to do it for you. Use all the digital and technological tools we have in our era to connect with your baby. This communication is a bridge that connects you to your baby, even before they are born.

Consented touch: Your baby can react to every sensory stimulus, even the tactile one. Whenever you can do so, and under the supervision of specialists, ask your surrogate for permission to come into consensual contact with her tummy and to be able to “spoil” your baby from the outside. You will see how she will react to your touch over time.

Start Journaling: Whether through a personalized email, a notebook, an album, or any other means, start documenting your baby's life story from the beginning. This journaling practice will ensure that you don't miss a single detail of their development and will help you approach their life story dynamically and lovingly in the future.