Take advantage of their life cycle stages: Children are intelligent from birth, so it is crucial to normalize their origin story from when they are in the womb. This proactive approach from the very beginning will help you talk openly, transparently, and with the right words. Between ages 3 and 5, respond honestly to their questions about their origins, using age-appropriate language. By age 10, as they learn about reproduction in school, provide more detailed explanations about their history and family-building methods. Keeping this conversation until adolescence could lead to identity challenges and strain family relationships, so offer safe communication spaces to your children from an early age.

Find a safe and calm space: When it comes time to talk to your children about their gestation and birth, it is critical to approach this with care. This preparation and the creation of a safe space will help you feel confident and in control. Parents should agree on when and how to share this information if you are a couple. If you are the only parent, select a calm and emotional connection time, and take advantage of your children's interest to create that space, always respecting both their time and yours. It would help if you familiarized yourself with the idea that not telling them could negatively influence their emotional development and identity; prepare what you want to say, remembering that this moment is critical to strengthening the bond with them. Take your time; avoid forcing the conversation or giving more information than they can assimilate. Remember that you are talking to your children about their reality, which may be sensitive for them.

Be confident, empathetic, and have a good attitude: The attitude you take in front of your children when conversing about their origin or their life history will ultimately determine the conversation's success and your children's attitude towards you. Talk about the process with a positive approach, from the gratitude and being very emphatic about its uniqueness, the benefits it brings to the families, and the recognition the pregnant women deserve for this beautiful work. Remember that knowing your life history can trigger reactions that may become uncomfortable. You must be very open and anticipate, understand that they are processing the information, and know that your job is to remain calm and willing.

Use stories or stories adapted to their age: On the web, some portals provide stories or stories related to assisted reproduction techniques and surrogacy issues; you can review them and even buy one for a reading night with your children. Explain with examples of where they come from and your intention to start a family. Another option to take on your children's story is to make up a story with their story by yourself, choose the characters, the words, and the way of telling it according to what your children enjoy the most.

Speak honestly and be open-minded: The most crucial part of this process is building trust with your children, so don't minimize, hide, or “make up” the truth. Lies, no matter how innocent, can damage your children's perception of you. We know this is an uncomfortable and intimate conversation, but you can keep it going without losing the reality and accuracy of the process. You don't need to over-explain; basic and accurate information is enough. For example, mention that the process is a way to help daddies and mommies who want a family but need exceptional support to achieve it. Being open-minded and understanding will help you maintain a positive and empathetic attitude, which is crucial for the success of the conversation.

Check all their questions about the topic: Throughout the conversation, your children may have questions and want to go deeper. Be prepared for this and try to answer all their questions honestly. Remember that there are correct questions and necessary questions. The idea is that your children become familiar with the topic and feel that you are willing to accompany them in understanding their reality. Embrace their questions and be transparent with them. Constantly modulate your voice and prepare for a long conversation that will likely come up again.

Ask questions and validate their emotions and thoughts: Your children are likely to experience many emotions when learning about their history regardless of what it is, mainly because they are processing and learning new concepts or processes they were previously unaware of. These emotions will evolve and change over time, so acknowledging and validating them to provide the necessary support and support is vital to making the conversation meaningful for everyone. Encourage your children to tell you what they think and feel, be aware of their concerns, and never forget to reaffirm to your child how much you love them and that you feel lucky to have grown your family.

¡Celebrate their story: Your children's birthdays are probably your favorite date and the most important date in their story; however, their conception process also had essential milestones. You can write down the dates of your surrogacy process milestones, such as the day we found out we had viable embryos, the day of the transfer, and the day that pregnancy is confirmed. By this, you can have additional celebrations and small family customs that remind them of your desire to have them and their value within the family, allowing them to assume the birth story with normality.